“don’t fight change” was the advice i was given by my best friend in a brief gchat conversation today.
i had to think about it for a second – am i fighting it? am i trying to control this situation? and i can honestly answer – no. but let me give you some of the back story.
for those of you that aren’t updated on my current living situation; i live in a lovely condo.
but it has been confirmed that starting September 26th, she will no longer own the lovely condo. This is great news – because we’ve been praying for God to work this situation out – because being a missionary in Haiti doesn’t really mean you want to have a mortgage back in the states. So this is a good thing.
However, i do have to move out of my lovely home. with my beautiful purple wall that i love so much.
Although a possibility since Day 1, i was naive in believing it would never happen (something that probably falls in line with “that would never happen to me!” and the invincibility we feel as young adults). but it is what it is, and i have 13 days left in my little home.
living in Riverwalk brought a lot of firsts for me;
– first time having my own room (except living with my parents for a year after London)
– first time (and possibly only time, even though it has completely spoiled me!) having my own bathroom
– first time painting walls the color i wanted
– first time living alone – after fully believing i would never want to or couldn’t handle it
i like my apartment. i like my walls! i like that i’m the perfect distance between McGregor and 41. i like that there is no gate in my community and i have a pool. i don’t want to leave… i just dont want to! But it’s next on the agenda. it came at a very interesting time in life, and i really am sad to give this place up, but i feel totally calm about it happening. Which only makes me more certain that it’s all part of the plan.
living alone is something i never really considered, but just kind of fell into when Ashlee left. i fell into it a little more naturally than i thought, and i kind of love it some times. but i do believe i am built to live life with people, and being alone too much isn’t very good for me. i feel it was an important part of my journey and growth, and i’m very thankful for this time.
but just like learning to live alone was an adjustment, learning to live with others again will be the same. after almost 3 years of my own bedroom, and 1.5 years of my own bathroom, going back will be very different. but i did it for over 20 years of my life, so i think i’ll survive : )
i think my entire experience living in Fort Myers has been an important part of my journey… being forced into things i never thought i’d say yes to (ie, living in fort myers, living alone, etc)…. and ending up loving them. So i have no doubt that this next part of the Fort Myers chapter, which most likely involves sleeping on a lot of couches, will be no different in the growth department.
i’m embracing the change. even if it’s not the kind of change i thought i was looking for.
i guess it almost never is : ) and there’s something kind of beautiful about that.